Buying into the idea that life begins all over again at forty...

Buying into the idea that life begins all over again at forty...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Hmm squared

Apparently, this is a day when Huey Lewis and Simple Minds make me happy inside. Who knew?

Do you know what does NOT make me happy inside?

The fact that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing when it comes to dating. I mean, seriously! I have no business being single and dating. None! While I personally think I'm all cool and so solidly a great catch--I have this feeling that really I’m a walking nightmare for all those who witness it (or, God forbid, have to interact with me in a romantic way).

Case in point--the newest guy that I was so certain was going to be that great dating experience?
Well, he turned out to have a zip-off head that reveals a douchy jerkface underneath whenever he decided to tug on the zipper pull. Unfortunately for me, he decided to pull a little too often for my patience level, so that potential door closed rather abruptly. Yeah, yeah, yeah...buh-bye to you, waste of a month-and-a-half that I can't get back.

Then, there’s the lurking online guy friend who took to calling me sweetheart, and checked on my every evening—consistently asking if I got to relax, sharing how much he enjoys my sense of humor, and so forth. Apparently, that enjoyment was not enough to extend any sort of social encounter, even on a friend level. What is UP with that, lurky?

Then, up pops a new date option! And through my online dating profile? Well, this IS a surprise!
Someone who has manners and actually ASKS me out. Acts interested in seeing me. Gasp! Sarcastically wonderful and witty texting and emailing ensues! A quick date invite is made! And, we meet and…

yeah…zero attraction for me there. Apparently, I do have some superficial limits to my date qualifications, mostly dealing with proper dental care. But, I get a lot of positive comments from this one, and I am certain he is super interested in me. I confide in a few that I don’t know how to tell him I feel no attraction when he calls for that second date. And… contact is made for a second date at all. Hmm squared.

So, I give up on you, MANkind! I have a lot of good books to read this summer, and a new gym membership to break in. I think I’ll just go ahead and cross the summer off and stop letting this drain my energy. Send available men my way maybe come September. No, make that October. September is apparently my break-up month, whereby I decide that the relationship isn’t close enough to make it through the holidays so I end it then. Yep…I’m 0 for 2 in September.

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